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Saturday, May 1, 2021

Boneland

 Once upon a time, a fox was running from a huge fire spread. It was caused by a dragon, and his parents were stuck in the area that the fire and the dragon was in. The two of his parents had both been stripped to the bone by the time the animals had gotten back. The little fox looked at his father's remains and then at his mother's. He was crying so hard and then he dragged the skeletons all the way to his den. It was fairly big, and he put them next to his table made from sticks. "I'll get revenge on that stupid dragon," said the fox angrily as he walked out of his den. He could see that it wasn't just his parents that had died. But his whole family did too. He the last one of his whole entire family. He was getting even angrier and angrier until he started running into a forbidden place called the foggy bush "What is that...?" he asked as he whispered to himself and looked at an odd creature. It looked as if it had been launched out of a volcano. It was definitely possible because he was maybe a kilometre or two away from a volcano. Then he got a glimpse of a grey chest with some kind of metal thing on it. He was pretty sure he had seen humans and monkeys use it before. Then he saw a key in the middle of the floor with a human skeleton next to it. He ran to the key and grabbed it. The creature had seen him. Heard him. And smelt him. He was running through the air when something flew over him and he looked above him. He saw the same dragon that invaded his old home. "That's weird. why would the dragon fly from its cave again?" I kept thinking for a bit. I almost forgot about the random creature that was chasing me. Then I carried on running to the chest. The random creature was so close I could feel its breath blowing on me. Then I got some kind of speed boost from thin air. I put the key through the hole of the metal thing on the chest. I turned the key to the left and the metal thing fell off the chest. I jumped in and grabbed a little knife or something. I used it like a katana because my grandfather taught me how to use it. I jumped back of the chest, but instead of normally jumping I leapt out. I was in mid-air and then shortly after I leapt out I was latched on to the creature's head. When I had killed it I just got a weird grey and rusty thing. I ran home with it and I was getting very hungry. I also wanted to sleep too. I made some herb and pork soup, which mum taught me how to make. I could still agree that it was the best food I had ever had. Then I got to bed and at midnight I heard a car sound over my little den. I was dreaming about murdering that dragon that killed my parents and then getting all the herb and pork soup in the universe. Which it was basically raining herb and pork soup everywhere. Then I got up. I walked slowly out the little kitty door I stole from one of the houses in the now-ruined city. I peered through the gaps in the bushes. "Hey where are all the foxes?" asked one of the men walking out of their car. "I don't know," replied another man that got out of the car as well. Bolter (That was the fox's name) recognised the things they were holding. They were called guns and they could kill just about anything with a touch of a bullet. His heart was pumping really fast then both men turned around and looked straight at him. They didn't notice him because he was behind a bush and it was midnight. "Hey, Jack can you turn on your damn flashlight?!" asked the man on the right. "Ok Jason you don't have to shout at me!" shouted Jack as he got the light on. Bolter ran inside and then the humans were walking towards his house. They didn't notice it because it was a little stump of dirt. They had gone a long way away, so Bolter tried sleeping again. He succeeded and he was fast asleep. Then the next morning he walked out of his house and he saw a tent in the distance next to a tree. Bolter ran over to the same bunch of trees and hid behind one. Then he saw an adult and two children about the same age came out of the tent. He ran over in the tent and stole an empty box and a wall thing for putting tools and weapons on. It had a hammer, shovel, chainsaw, and an axe on it. They didn't notice him leave with it somehow. "Where are the tools?" asked one of the kids. They should be next to my bed!" shouted the adult. Bolter finally got home with it. He got all of the stuff in at the moment that the humans started looking for the stuff he stole. He was very thirsty and hungry so he made more soup and got some water from the nearby village's well. He needed to be careful though because foxes were pests in that village. He went back home and had his food and then sorted the wall out. Then put all of his ingredients in the box. He put his cookbooks he steals in the pantry he made out stone with his dad. He had also stole not only a gaming console but everything you needed with it as well! He had done that with his uncle. He started playing on his console and then the tent that the humans were basically living in was put in their caravan. They also had a porter loo as well as a whole bunch of food. Bolter stole loads of food and they never knew. Then it was night and Bolter was asleep in his bed he and his auntie made. The next morning he started to steal more things from the village nearby. He also tried making his own well out of rock. It went pretty well and he made it in his house so it was one easy access and two because he's inside and there's less chance that he would get eaten by maybe a wolf or any other predator of his. Bolter felt very alone, but he was getting used to it. He only wanted to get revenge but he knew it wouldn't be easy. He'd need to learn when the dragon's going to be weaker in which places. Then he saw a bear in the distance. He didn't want to approach it just in case it was after a fox-like him. He could see a katana but it also looked different. It looked blue from where he was. He was desperate to run and grab it. He felt like it was calling and inviting him to tale it. Own it. Keep it. He ran and pulled it out of the floor. It was massive. He thought he found something rare. "Is it rare?" Bolter asked himself as he ran back home. You see he's got to run everywhere because he's going to end up like the rest of his family otherwise. He doesn't really want to get killed by a dragon. He wants to kill the dragon. But he needed some other supplies before he goes for the dragon. He put everything he found away and had a fourteen or fifteen-hour nap before looking outside again. Bolter lived in a small hill that he dug by himself. He noticed that it was night and the blood moon was up. He ran to the village and stole everything and then he started to have a lot of soup and he watched the shooting stars and asteroids come down every few minutes. Then he saw that moon had moved a little bit. This was his favourite night of the year. Whenever the blood moon was up he and his whole family would sit where he was and watch the moon, stars and asteroids. Then after a long time, it was dawn. He went to bed until like 11:30 in the morning. He set up his new things and put the books in the stone pantry. He was very good at making everything in his house tidy so he knew where everything was. It felt different with no one to look after you when you're like 11. It was his birthday coming up so he had to get ready for a self-celebration. He managed to make one fox friend. His name Ezrail, and him and Bolter were great friends. Ezrail was good at hunting for food. Bolter had found some string as thick as a chunky cat's tail. He had also found a stick 2 times the size of the chunky cat tail string. He managed to find another very similar pieces of string. He also found a similar stick as well. Ezrail had found two hooks and two fish. They made two fishing rods and started fishing for a bit they both got home with a lot of pictures of cool fish. They were just angling meaning they were only taking them out of the water to look at them and then putting them back in the water before they die. They both stole cameras from a city called New York and they had a hard time. They got a car from stealing it from a police officer. He went to a butchery shop and they also stole a lot of pork, beef, chicken and they also got more blankets and pillows. Ezrail likes to sleep whenever he feels like sleeping. They got a caravan as well. It was awesome. They both stole so much. It was a bit odd how stealing from a village and then a city really made any sense. Ezrail had a white and grey caravan and a police car. After thinking about that for a while he heard a fireblast land really close. He peeked outside and saw the dragon raging. He was so frightened. He was just a little fox. Then he saw a blue katana in the distance. He ran over to it and grabbed it. There were bears, deer, wolves, and even tigers crying. They were so scared. "You idiot you will never curse this forest!" shouted Bolter as the dragon blasted a fireball at the fox. The fox sliced it in half and then he jumped up to the dragon. He managed to take control of it. He shot it into the wall and then Bolter got thrown off. He landed in the dragon's cave and then he had blue and red things going through his katana. He stabbed the dragon and the red and black things went through the katana and he bashed into the wall and then the katana had rainbow things going through it. Then he dashed all around it and then the dragon blew up. It was still alive. Then it took off and then suffered through the air and fell to the ground. It had died. "Did I... Did I kill it?!" shouted bolter as he was crying loads. The fox watched as the animals crept over to the dragon's dead body. Bolter ran and got down, out of the cave.

2 comments:

  1. Zach, your ideas in your writing are becoming more and more elaborate. I could really feel for the fox at the beginning of your story.
    We need to work on re-crafting your story to tighten up your control. You could use the findbar to spot the common words that repeat, then use thesaurus.com to change some of them to a synonym.
    The other thing that we are going to develop is your paragraphing.
    Your writing is coming a phenomenal way. The ideas in your head are harder to come by than the skills of tweaking them on the page. I'm really excited to see how far you can take your writing this year!

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  2. maybe you should make your story's a bit shorter so people can read it a bit better

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